Let’s start this off with a big ole eff you to having hair, courtesy of Lady GaGa.
Recently I came across this little gem of an opinion blog. Normally, I would not feed traffic to such a waste of internet space, but in order to understand this post, one needs to see what it is in response to. In a nutshell, the writer has decided that women are ugly with short hair. I found the post quite laughable.
Let’s just go through and address these obviously uneducated claims this writer makes.
1. If Celebs can’t pull it off…
Obviously, this dude has never seen this chick..
Now. Tell me she is the ugliest woman on earth and can’t pull off this look.
Or how about this lady?
Yep, you’re right, Mr. Fratboy writer…She’s hideous and no man alive would EVER EVER EVER want her, or any woman on this list for that matter.
Celebrities go to incredibly talented stylists (usually…that’s not to say there isn’t a mess up sometimes, but hey, any publicity is good publicity, right?) In most circumstances, the short haircut is tailored specifically to that celebrity and done to gain promotional value. To imply that these celebs are heinous because of the new look is absurd. A good hairstylist can guide a girl in the right direction as to what sort of short look she can pull off.
2. You will stand out.
EXACTLY. Generally, women define themselves by their body image. Most of us want to be noticed, awed over, flocked around, all that good stuff. Short haircuts on women scream confidence when done properly. They say “Hey, I know I’m hot. I can be hot without fitting into your ridiculous rule-filled societal box.”
Jennifer Lawrence fully embodies this exact quality.
She is so full of confidence and self worth that it oozes out her pores. So much so, that she was ballsy enough to photobomb Taylor Swift. She photobombs so much that I’m just going to give out the google search link.
I particularly love how Mr. Fratboy states that if a girl’s hair is outside of the normal “blonde, brunette and easy” then that girl is instantly looked over. Ladies, if you don’t want to appear “easy” (that’s a nice way of saying “hey girl, you look like a hooker.”) then you all better race out to Sally’s Beauty Supply or call your stylist because this year’s Pantone color is Radiant Orchid. Get on that lavendar/purple bandwagon already. I will agree with his “dressing like a moron” comment, though. Stop wearing Crocs and Mom jeans that are cut off into shorts and get some Crayola inspired hair color done so you stop looking like such a nasty whore.
3. Amplifies your flaws
Hardly. Go back to that first photo. Show me where Ms. Berry has flaws. Short hair does a lot of things for a woman. It makes us look younger, gives us confidence and makes us feel playful and sexy. I am often told by other women how much they love my hair and wish they could pull it off. My response is always ” You can, you just need to find the right short style for you.” Guys, you WANT us to feel playful and sexy, trust me.
Oddly enough, if a girl has wonky teeth or is a little overweight or (insert “flaw” here) short hair can pull attention away from imperfections and draw it to more positive areas. Basically, people will be way too busy gawking over a girl’s incredibly sexy short haircut to worry about her crooked teeth.
Can you spot the wonky thing here?
I can, but it took some looking. (and I won’t tell you what is off, either.)
I think that my FAVORITE part of that moronic, chauvinistic article is the fact that the writer uses a Mad Men alias which is pretty unoriginal and cowardly. It was probably the only tactic he could think of to cause his rubbish to go viral. A real man would brave the world and sign off on his opinion with the balls he grew. It is easy to troll when one can hide in the anonymity of the internet. I would bet the purple in my non-ho colored hair that the writer had the hots for some girl with a pixie and she told him where he could stick it. (or rather, where he WOULDN’T be.) Also, the author completely discounts any medical issues that women face. Instead of judging a woman because of her hair, ask her why she has her hair like that. Maybe she cut it off to support a friend or family member dying of cancer. Maybe she donated it to a program that makes wigs for children. Maybe she needed a confidence boost after an abusive relationship or disastrous divorce. Or maybe, she just wanted to be the local, all around badass chick with the even doper hair.
To that, I say do what you want, ladies. Rock your identity for you, not for anyone else. The genuine people in your life will love you no matter what your hair looks like or how long it is. Those who don’t; well, they shouldn’t be in your life then, should they?
Hugs and Sunny Surf,
Jessica (and a photo of me looking awesomely confident in my non-hooker colored mohawk and yes, that is a Ron Burgundy Tattoo on the inside of my arm. It is epic. I know. )