I hope y’all actually click this music video this time because it really tells a great story about Identity and what it means to women.
I was inspired to write this little quip by a comment on my last blog post. Most people have no idea just how much something as simple as hair means to an individual’s identity; especially for a woman. I keep my hair short. That is my identity. I change the color about as often as my underwear. That buzzed up backside is a badge of courage. I do it so women know that you are NOT your hair! Hair is an accessory. Just like a scarf or a wig or hat. Hell, glue little rhinestones on your baldness and rock that out! (WHY didn’t I think of that last year when I was getting chemo???? dammit.)
Recently, I saw the film 50/50 and if one wants to make a valid attempt at understanding the emotional roller coaster canSer takes its host on, watch that film. There is absolutely NOTHING more dehumanizing than being forced to shave your hair off. NOTHING.
In order to feel that I was in control, I buzzed it all off before mine even started falling out. It was liberating but nonetheless dehumanizing. I never cried in front of anyone about it, even though I often wanted to. But you know what? If you need to cry, then do it. You’re entitled to that. Have your breakdown. Then later, remember that YOU are not your hair. Be free of it. Those who truly got your back will love you with or without hair, ovaries, boobs, Jimmy Choos, (insert whatever you want right here.)
Pretty is what changes, folks. Bald IS beautiful. There’s your proof.
In the meantime, here are a few videos that will show you how to wrap up your noggin in some awesome ways. I would often glue up some fake bangs underneath the front. (use hairglue and weaving tracks or eyelash glue.) Also, you can get pretty inexpensive weave from lots of different beauty supply stores….especially ones in “da hood.” Those were my favorite ones! To be honest, I STILL wrap it up sometimes. Just because I LOVE the look so much. Pashima and cotton work the best as silk and satin tend to slip and get really hot. And don’t worry about needing a “hair bun.” It isn’t necessary. I speak from experience.
I was putting some things in the trunk of my car today and I found this
It’s my old army beret. I actually teared up a bit at finding it. So many people really do not realize or understand just how much a canSer patient/survivor has ripped away from them.
Finding my beret just confirmed that I need to do some serious life toxins purging.
Most people think that a detox is simply ridding your body of the nasty goo that hangs out inside of it. I however, have come to believe that this also means ridding my life of the nasty gooey individuals that make life miserable. I know this is not going to be a fun or easy process but it needs to be done, no matter how painful it might be.
I’ve received lots of generous gifts from friends all over and I’m incredibly grateful for everything that has been done for me. However, it has come to my attention that there are people in my life who are “irked” or “upset” or felt that I was somehow disrespectful or they were even “infuriated” by the things/attention I have received.
I firmly equate this to jealousy and at this point, those sorts of people are not needed in my life. The last thing I (or any cancer survivor for that matter) needs to deal with is added drama, contributed by things that are not of another’s business.
I really think that this purging is an important part of the recovery path. Along with getting rid of the self-righteous, ignorant, know it alls, racists, etc. (whatever little adjective you may choose to use we ALL know the type of individuals I’m referring to. Misery loves company and attitude is well over half the battle. In addition, attitudes and misery are contagious. Surround yourself with those who truly care.) I’ve started eating better. I eat out less and I shop as much as possible in organic and natural food stores. I am absolutely a meat eater, but do my best to eat organic meats. Less red meat and more chicken. So cock a doodle doo baby! These foods are a bit more expensive, but pale in comparison to my medical bills. Heh. I’m not trying to say “Hey you murdering meat eater, eat your organic free trade broccoli for cryin out loud.” I’m just saying that I really think a lot of the canSer and other dis-ease running around this country, eating away at our beautiful American people can be contributed to the dietary changes in the past couple of decades. 20 years ago, it was much less common to receive a canSer diagnosis…especially at a young age like mine.
So, I leave y’all with this. I CHALLENGE you to 1. look at the individuals in your life. You’re only as good as the company you keep, right? Are they supportive of you? Do they honestly care? Or is their piss poor attitude bringin’ you down?
2. Go look in your fridge/cupboard/pantry. Look at the ingredients in some of your most favorite foods. For example…your coffee cream…what should be in that? Cream? milk? sugar? Disodium phosphate?? Holy toilet bowls, Batman, this stuff is used to relieve constipation…yet it is in my very own coffee creamer??? eewwww…
See what is in your food stock and find out what the chemicals are that you ingest. Then make an educated decision about whether or not you can live without eating these things.
My body already feels better having cut out a lot of the nasty goos, both human and non human form.
Hugs and Sunny Surf,
Jessica & Gertrude
I’ve not had the motivation lately to update here, but this weekend was a bit bittersweet for me. This is a day that will live in infamy. One year ago today, I was placed on a ventilator and admitted to the ICU. I was lying in a bed, sedated and dying. People aren’t going to like reading that, but that’s how it was. Sometimes the truth just sucks and talking about it doesn’t always get you a seat at the cool kids’ table for lunch.
I’ve had people say I’m inconsiderate, I joke too much, I need medication, how can I take things so lightly, I need therapy, blah blah blah. I won’t apologize for anything that I have said, did or thought that pissed someone off. I’m done doing that. BUT I’ve also had people say I inspire them, that I give them hope, they admire my strength and they got out of bed because of how I coped. I’m not strong, I’m not prolific, I’m not amazing or anything else one could conjure up. I did what I had to do to survive, just like anyone else would. But for every dumb, lame statement I hear about my coping methods, I hear five amazing, smart and sassy ones. The latter make it all worth it. If one woman gets out of bed, puts on her make-up and marches into her chemo session because of my story, mission accomplished.
I’ve been through a lot of crap in my life. Two divorces, Katrina Relief, bootcamp, the death of friends and loved ones, and other things that I’m not going to get into on here. However, this past year has been THEE most difficult one of my life.
This past year, I was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer. I almost died a few times and all of my dreams were ripped out of my hands, to include the one of marrying the person I thought was meant just for me.
One of my friends asked on her facebook page if I would rather go back ten years or jump ahead five. Without a moment of thought, I stated go back ten. After all my little mind, body, heart and soul has had to deal with, I’d do it all over again. I am the woman I am today because of everything that happened; most of which happened this past year. I’ve learned to accept me the way I am. Although I struggle every so often with self image, (comon…what woman DOESN’T??) I am happy with the woman I’ve grown into. I know what I want from life now, and I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve. I’ve learned there are people in this world that love me just the way I am; sass, tattoos, morning breath and all. I’ve watched my closest friends grow into some of the strongest women I know. I mean, they not only juggled their family and careers, but stood by my side throughout the whole ordeal. Even if it was something as simple as bringing me a Sonic Coke while I was stuck at my final round of chemo, they were there to laugh and cry with me. I’ve watched my family struggle to laugh with me, even though I know they often just wanted to cry. (Although I have to admit, they often drive me crazy. BUT that doesn’t change the fact that I still love them all, no matter how pissed I may get at them. I’m sure they get mad at me, too. heh.)
So, while I may be struggling to buy new yarn for my next knitting project and can’t seem to get a leg up on a career move right now, I’d say I’m a pretty lucky girl to be surrounded by so many supportive and amazing people. It was the worst year of my life, but oddly enough, it was also the best year, too. It turned my whole world around…and I kinda like it.
Now if I could just get back out to California…everything would be perfect.
Hugs and sunny surf,
Jessica & Gertrude
Special thanks to:
First of all, Myself. Noone ever gives themselves credit for their accomplishments and I’m putting an end to that. I rock.
Dr. Kris Ghosh
Dr. Stephen Rosenfeld
Dr. Randall Hightower
the Tri-City nursing staff
Highlands Oncology Staff
Elvis (my puppymonster, not the King.)
Helen Olds
Kim Brannon
Ryann Thornton
Stephanie Reid
Lori Karis
Jen Rooney
Tyjanna Bourgeois
Troy Blakely
Jen Baker
my entire Paralegal class at USD
University of San Diego
Jessica Louise
Mike Chung
David Chen
Loc Nguyen
Diem Nguyen
Julia Nguyen
the Nguyen family
Ivan’s meat Market
Crystal Davis
Tina Newport Yeager
Kelly Erickson
Arinn Westendorf
MSG Scott Baranek
MAJ John Decker
Dianne Hupp
RJ Grijalva
Kirt Reynolds
Trik Photography
Jessica Miller (Dunk)
Frederic Leclercq (Love you Kromoze!!!)
Nhung Lien
Tri Huyhn (sorry dude! I can’t remember how to spell ur last name. But miss your face!)
Camille Berry and Mattie
My military family and fellow soldiers
Chendo
Glenn Sweet
SG community (and the members who were amazing and sent me good reads and blankets when I needed them the most
Anthony Bourdain (hey. No Reservations got me through many a chemo session)
Tom Cruise (hey…so did Risky Business and Cocktail, okay?? Cut a girl some slack here..)
Tony Maristela
Charles Park
Brian Pond and family
Tom Morris and family
A.J. Cates
Tianna Priest and family
Cody Renegar (especially for making me feel beautiful without hair and for creating the most Euro-trashtastic mohawk before buzzing my head!)
Adrian Salazar, my nuudleface BMFF (thats best male friend forever)
Rooster at Prick Tattoo in San Antonio
Eli Roth and Quentin Tarantino (my chemo sessions were long, peeps.)
My grandparents
Kendra Reynolds
Playstation
Apple
Hobby Lobby
Walmart
Best Buy
eBay
Amazon
Philosophy
iTunes
Netflix
all my favorite musicians and authors
Shyaporn Theerakulstit (God I hope that is spelled right..)
Jay Thornton
The Collective Bias family
Wordpress
Anthony Waits
Jerry Murry
The entire Warburton clan
Robert Baker
Rick Yeung
The Relay for Life family and everyone who has supported me with that
Bryce Warburton
and finally,
Mike Warburton and Vickie Warburton
Most importantly, all you amazing LWG readers!! this would be a wasted effort without y’all.
That’s a long long list, so if you don’t see your name, I’ve not forgotten you. There’s just been so many along the way that I can’t possibly name them all. I love you all so much!!! and Baby, you’ve come a long way.
I believe in Wild Angels. Do you?? Here’s Martina’s actual video..just because I think it’s pretty rad so you should too. Without those guardian angels, I wouldn’t be telling you about the awesomeness I just experienced recently and we all know that ONLY wild angels would be assigned the hefty task of dealing with this girl. heh.
So most of y’all probably know that I just went on a big road trip to a few cities. My better judgment tells me that I should give it to ya in the order it all occurred which would mean starting with Washington, D.C. but my ability to empathize and place myself in another’s shoes tells me that I should start with what I would really want to hear about…NEW YORK CITY! And, I just bought a box of happy but promised myself not to use said happy until I get a blog update out. So let’s get this goin’ because I’ve got secret missions to do. That’s all I can tell you. I’ve probably already said too much..
Charles and I got to The Big Apple around nine p.m. on a Wednesday evening. The air was chilly yet carried a warmth. The skyline was lit up in all it’s bedazzled glory.
That feeling in your chest right now? That excited, breathlessness…that’s exactly what I had. Upon seeing the city lights, I felt my throat tighten up but managed to control the water works. The first evening was spent catching up with old friends and viewing the city skyline from Tia’s terrace. Fortunately, I do not have a view like this; I would never leave my house. Or maybe, that would develop into an addiction for me…constantly leaving, not returning calls and exploring a city that I’m fairly sure has never been fully explored by but one single individual person. I’m pretty sure it would take several years to see absolutely everything there is to see in NYC.
We rose early the next day to get a terrific start and attempt to beat the city at the sleep game. Breakfast was coffee and doughnuts from a Japanese bakery in Bryant Park. If one wishes to attend a doughnut shop that has no cops in it, go to the Japanese-type ones. haha!
Next stop, Rockefeller Plaza.
I knew this was meant to be as I turned around and saw God hovering above the doors rockin out with his Samurai swords…
We spent most of the morning walking around the NBC Experience store where Charles rocked it out by getting me a Central Perk t-shirt. For those of you naysayers, Central Perk is the fictional coffeeshop that the crew of “Friends” hung out at all the time. Anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE me some Friends. I even have the complete boxed set, people.
Since I’ve several hundred photos from this trip and sooooo much to tell, this will all come as a sort of…mini-series. Yeah. That’s what Imma call it..a mini-series. It will be my “Makin you bitterly Jealous” mini-series.
So, what do I have in store for y’all then? Weeeeeeehhheeeheeeheeeellllll…
Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) Random acts of silliness and laughter, Natural History Museum, (got gumgum?) Cute boys, Sightseeing cruise, my inherent search for a pretty scarf to wrap my cold head in, breakfast at Tiffany’s, (okay okay..maybe that was just in my imagination..) and sooo much more. So, over the next week or so, I solemnly do swear to love and cherish my readers, to faithfully devote attention to my blog, in sickness and in health, till trip end do we part..
Hugs and sunny surf,
Jessica & Gertrude
P.S.
If you look carefully, I’m pretty sure there’s a reflection of a wild angel in that Alexander McQueen store window…heehee
Some time has passed since I explained why I mispell the word canSer, so I’m going to clear up some confusion and misplaced awesomeness again here.
See, I’m a huge fan of respect and I firmly believe that respect is earned, not given. Most of y’all also know that I never ever EVAR say “my canSer.”
So, here’s the scoop, peeps. You ask why I mispell canSer…I ask why YOU take ownership of it!! I mean, WHHYYYYY??? Why do you poke the bear??? Don’t encourage it. Do NOT take ownership of it, for cryin out loud. Show it absolutely no respect. Don’t even call it “canSer” when possible. Call it “it.” Don’t capitalize it, don’t placate it, don’t let it control any part of your life and don’t even spell it right! (Props to Kris Carr and her book, “Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips” for that one. ) That tip has definitely been one of my favorites.
I mean, last time I checked, I didn’t own anything I don’t like; credit card debt excluded. Take a look around. Do YOU own things you don’t like? If I’ve had things I didn’t care for, I busted my butt to get rid of them…
canSer included.
Well, my little Gertrudians, that is all for now. I’m tired. Must sleep.
HOWEVER..stay tuned! I have some big BIIIIIIIIGGGG news that Imma let slip out here soon. Just waiting for the right moment. Don’t want to do it too soon because I don’t wanna jinx myself. But really!! Keep checking back..had some crummy happenings the past couple days, but they were beat up and kicked out from under the bed by some way rad-shaped happenings! Check back in a few days and you’ll see what I’ve got in store!! teeheeheeeeee
And remember…No one is going to give you permission to live. So get goin already!
Hugs and Sunny Surf,
Jessica & Gertrude
(this photo cracks me up because it says “Air Bag Warning” above my head…get it?? get it?? BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA)
(and..what are you doing still reading this right now?? Didn’t I tell you to get goin already???) ;)
You met me tonight at the Northwest Arkansas Airport and I gave you my card; which is how you probably found this blog. I don’t normally do much politicking here, as it is not generally meant for those sorts of purposes. BUT To be honest, I’m totally excited that you are reading it! It briefly tells my story as a 28 year old woman who had a staring contest with canSer and didn’t blink. (Not even a half-blink!) I’m not brave, I’m not prolific, I’m not a miracle and I’m not inspiring. I’m human and as a human, I have a will to survive. I just let that will to survive drive me.
Anywhoo, I’m writing this in hopes that you DO read my blog, as I know you are a busy man. (I interned with Mr. Darrell Issa..seriously..I don’t know how y’all do it! I’d lose my mind!) Also, I won’t nag you after this little brief politicking on my personal corner of the internet. However, dealing with a nasty dis-ease has really opened my eyes on just how whacked healthcare has become. I was denied Medi-Cal, my insurance pays pretty much whatever they decide they want to pay and at only 28 years old, I have over $400,000 dollars in medical debt. I won’t go on about this, as you probably already know what I could possibly say about it. I’m currently on Disability and it isn’t even enough to pay rent. I truly hope that the voted in powers that be can get this corrected.
In any event, I hope you enjoy my blog and spread the word. I found it pretty rad that someone with the status you have would even take the time out of your day to tell me that you will keep me in your prayers. People don’t realize how important something as small as a prayer thought, a blanket or a soda from a favorite fast food restaurant actually is to someone with canSer. Especially considering you know nothing about me, to include how I vote. I’m just a girl who drives around in her beat up Honda, singing off tune country music at stop lights, who lives in a guest bedroom at her grandmother’s house. I spend my days writing funny nothings about my life for others to feel better about theirs and if I’m not doing that, I’m playing some sort of shooting game on Playstation and reminiscing about my days as a soldier. (and boy do I miss those days! I never thought I would actually say this, but damn I miss being a soldier.) I’m just lucky I’ve learned to do things with a smile on my face because now I know just how much worse off it could actually be. Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help out a fellow Conservative (besides a vote.)
Lately a lot of things have been getting to me. Normally, I try to not do that because, well, I just don’t have the patience for it. So, since everyone needs a good gripe session at times, here’s what’s been twisting my bra strap lately.
Wal-Mart’s “Rollbacks”
(Be sure to look REEEEALLLLY close at that one…those wonderful mathematical geniuses…) So I know you are probably thinking something like this: ”But Jess, why on earth would you not like even lower prices?”
Well, hypothetical person that is speaking to me via my personal corner of the interwebz…those “rollbacks” aren’t REALLY good buys. If one should actually pay attention to the prices in Wal-Mart, one would notice that when WM rolls back one item, they MARK UP another to make up for the cost difference. For example, my lil’ Elvis-shaped friend loves his Little Cesar’s for breakfast everyday. This particular wet dog food on “rollback” was a mere 58 cents! Then, a few weeks ago I returned to get more and found Pedigree to be on “rollback” and guess what brand was now 72 cents–Little Cesar’s. I hardly find that sort of stunt to be a true discount. (and yes, Elvis still gets his Little Cesar’s because that’s what he likes. I don’t eat food I don’t like so why would I make my dog?)
Spiders
I hate these things so much that I’m not even putting a picture of one here nor is the paragraph going to be any longer than this one sentence.
Clowns
Sure that little girl is all smiles at the moment but that is because it tickles when clowns try to suck your soul out through your nose. Just wait until she turns around and realizes what just happened!
And check out this clown!!
Now that is scary!
(okay okay. Normally I try to keep politics out of my blog and to be quite honest, I used to really like this guy..until his brain fell out of his ear. I’m pretty sure it is floating around in the Potomac river somewhere and some little kid is now using it for fish bait.)
Heights
My guy seems to think he is going to make me do this at the San Diego fair next year. Good luck with that because last time I checked, people can’t even make me eat stuff I don’t want to; let alone jump off a perfectly good platform with an overgrown, mutant rubber band tied to my ankles. Remember those paddles we all had as kids that had the bouncy ball attached to it with a piece of elastic? Yea, I’m not one of those.
Your Friend’s band
If they didn’t suck, they wouldn’t be playing in your best friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s garage, now would they?
Girls who wear Uggs in July with their shorts/mini skirt
So it is 100 degrees outside and girls wear boots that were meant to be worn in Alaska during January. It looks ridiculous with shorts. Besides that, Uggs are UGLY! I cannot figure out what the appeal is and yes, I have tried them on just to see if it had something to do with how they fit. Crocks easily fall into this same category.
So there you have it for now. These things just bug me. Something tells me that one or two of them bug pretty much everyone else, too. However, since I’m not a fan of complaining without some sort of solution, here are a few things making me pretty happy right now.
First off, Borderlands and a subscription to GameInformer
My little bro and I can’t stop wasting time on this! And what gamer DOESN’T want a subscription to GameInformer?? It’s my crack, people; especially since I just got a new PS3! (don’t hate. The boyfriend bought it for me. hehe)
End of Summer clearance sales
Seriously. I hit up Belks department store today with my gramma and scored some sandals that were 89 bucks at the beginning of the season. Guess how much I paid for them? Just guess! You’ll never guess. 15 Bucks! I would say patience is a virtue, but the only reason I didn’t buy them when I first saw them was because I didn’t have the money. Dear Kharma, I love your face. I LOVE these sandals! Don’t you?
My Barnes & Noble and Borders membership cards
These cards give me sweet discounts and since I’ve not had much to do, I’ve done a lot of reading.
Gladiolus and Magnolias
They’re just so pretty. I want a Magnolia tree in my backyard…/looks at boyfriend with puppy eyes
Funny Yoga positions
Eagle Pose
But I think “Pink Flamingo Pose” is much more appropriate
Happy Baby Pose
I like it’s alternate name of “Dead Bug Pose” much better, but tomato tomahto.
I’m not really sure what this one is called, but I would like to recommend “Flying Eagle Pose.” I’m also pretty sure that the BF will be excited that I can do this pose.
I CANNOT get enough of this band lately. Probably not everyone’s cup o’tea persay, but I LOVE this stuff! Gives me energy and reminds me I’m alive. Nothin better than a healthy dose of metal.
I also have a lot of respect for this band as their lyrics are almost always political in nature but at least they were there. (They are mostly Armenian and lots of their songs relate to the genocide and warring there.) Unlike OTHER bands who talk a lot of crap but lived in places like Irvine, CA (in Orange friggin County) and don’t donate to much of anything but try to get others to…or were privileged most of their lives…
In other news today,
A good friend of mine from ye olde schoole days was in town this past week. I attended a relaxing BBQ at her family farm where she proceeded to tell me quite possibly THEE funniest story I’ve heard in quite some time. I asked if I could put it here and she quickly replied with an “absolutely” without any sort of hesitation.
Soooooooo…..
Her mom pulled up to a popular deli place drive thru and ordered up a sandwich. When she got her order, she became very distraught over not receiving her “free whiffy” that was advertised on the windows and signs. (Having trouble figuring out what “whiffy” is? Yea, I did too at first…until my friend told me to think about what was on pretty much EVERY restaurant, Starbucks and Barnes & Noble sign…NOOOWWW do you get it?? free whiffy?? heeehehehehe)
By this time, I was laughing so hard I almost snorted coke out my nose. (the soda type, not the powdery substance that is controlled and hit its popularity peak in the ’80′s) Her mom came in and proceeded to tell us about how she got fairly irate with the kid at the drive thru window because she didn’t receive her “free whiffy” in the bag with her order. The guy shook his head and slammed the window closed in her face. She decided it was just better to leave at this point.
I seriously LOVE my friends and their families. Luckily, they all have this fairly uncommon ability to laugh at their mistakes and own craziness and I think that is a very important quality for anyone to have. (I mean, comon…if you can’t laugh at yourself, you really must lead a pitiful existence on this planet. Lighten up! You’re reading the blog of a girl who wears purple hair and makes it her sole mission to crack up her Oncologist when visiting the office for puppies howlin sakes..)
Hope that lil’ bit brightened up your weekend like it did mine.
And for those who are still scratching their heads and thinking “what the hell is free whiffy?”
dooojadodododooddododoooojaa wanna scooch on over herrreee…i will nibble your eaaarrrrrr
I can’t stop listening to this song lately. Not really sure why. Maybe because it reminds me of the laid back surf atmosphere of the San Diego area that I fell in love with in 2003 and still love very much to this day. Nothing beats that sort of lifestyle. I can’t even describe it…one just has to EXPERIENCE it. Take it in. All of it..the crisp, salty ocean air, the coconut-laced breeze, the taste of the street tacos from the little dude with a cart that are three for a buck, the feel of the warm, golden sand between your toes and in your crack and the ever tantalizing, fruity scent of your favorite surfwax melting into the floorboards of your brand new car. This might sound not so good to some, but to me, it is better than ice cream with Oreos mashed up in it.
.
.
.
Seriously, people…I have SURFBOARDS (yes, that is pluralized form…as in, more than one) in the middle of Nowhere, Arkansas, where they are quite possibly THEE most useless they could possibly be. In addition, the Arkansas summer heat has succeeded in melting the wax off of them and now I will be forced to strip them and re-wax them at some point. This process usually involves taking an old credit card or a device called a “wax comb” and scraping off the melted bubbles. Then a base coat must be applied and it takes a while to get a surf-worthy coating of bubbly wax on a board. /cry
Small price to pay for getting back to the surf, I suppose. Three months ago I wasn’t healthy enough to surf so I really can’t complain too terribly much. Heh.
Random funny-ness:
So my friend Adrian has this app on his phone that allowed us to prank call people and successfully spoof the caller ID system. We decided it would be pretty good laughspasms to call my boyfriend in Cali and Rickroll him. See, this app records the conversation and the person on the other line can’t hear us or anything in the background. When we replayed the recording, we heard Loc say “oh I cannot believe you just did that…I hate you.”
Wanna know the best part???? LOC SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO THE WHOLE SONG! I laughed so hard I literally had to get up and run to the girls room because I almost peed my pants! I’m planning a visit to San Antonio in September, so I’m sure there will be more of these calls coming. Hopefully, I can score some of the recordings to put on here to delight your ears and vocal cords as well. Laughter is definitely a drug that should be shared. Puff puff give, mofo!
Remember how I said I was raising money for The American Cancer Society via Relay for Life? Weeeellllllll everyone can still make last minute DONATIONS and keep my team in first place for the most money raised!!! Yes, that’s right!! MOST MONEY RAISED!!! Think of how many birthday beers cancer survivors will get to have because of the money raised! Now that is seriously awesome and humanity never fails me. I LOVE my readers, family and friends for making it happen! Y’all rock my socks in a huge way!! (seriously..my socks are now made of cement; the awesomeness is soo awesome..)
One of my best homies came up from San Antonio to help with the event. We totally had the chillest set up at the event.
We had our very own rednecked white trash paradise right there. We borrowed it from these people who actually lived there.
Okay okay, I’m kidding. Those are my grandparents and they came out to watch the opening ceremonies. Had I been thinking, I would have set up a good ole round of Cow Patty Bingo behind it. See, this is where squares are spray painted into the field or grass. Everyone puts in five bucks and their initials go into a square. Whichever square the cow drops one in gets the money. Only, since there were no cows around, I would have just used my Elvis dog. Heh. I can’t make this sorta crap up, people. A true redneck olympic game right there, for your laughing pleasure.
These are our luminaria. Had I been thinking when I got these, I would have gotten one for my surgeon in Cali as well; Dr. Kris Ghosh. Because, as far as I’m concerned, he fights canSer, too, and these are in memory/in honor of those who have fought or are currently fighting. Therefore, Dr. Ghosh deserves one for kicking canSer out of my body. So does my onc out here, Dr. Stephen Rosenfeld. Just sayn.
I brought sidewalk chalk and the CSI chalk body outline was by far my personal favorite. Some people gave me funny looks about it, but I really don’t care. That made it all that much more funny to me. Get over yourselves, people.
Then there were these guys. They wanted to take a picture with “the girl with purple hair.”
.
.
.
Later we sat and tried to scare each other with alien and UFO stories. Fun times, fun times.
And here’s my dog
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Unfortunately, the event was called off around midnight due to Hell’s heat finding its way to the surface of the planet and several individuals were getting symptoms of heat exhaustion. Granted, canSer doesn’t go away when one gets sick from heat, but then again, it just wasn’t worth people ending up in the emergency room. It was still a good time and a damn good cause. As I already mentioned, keep the donations coming!! (the cut off is August 31) Keep my team in the top spot for moooooooolah raised and I won’t make you play Cow Patty Bingo with me!!!
Hugs and Sunny Surf,
Jessica and Gertrude
P.S. A few quick things…anything y’all wanna hear my thoughts on?
I also joined the Formspring movement. Ask me anything you wanna know!!! ANYTHING!!
If someone asked me what the theme song to my life would be, it would HAVE to be this song. (I take back anything I may have said previoulsy about a “my life theme.” It would be this at the beginning and then “Trouble” by Pink at the end. heh.
Very fitting, huh.
Aside from that, this blog needed a song with some awesomeness-shape to it. Something that just screams “grab your life and LIVE that shizzle!! ” Why? Because it is D-Day peeps! MuthaTruken D-Day!!! I’m comin to you LIVE from the chemo room! heheheeeeee
I honestly thought about putting a large hammer in my purse to bash that bell in with, but decided I should just gently dent it..That way there is a bell left for other people who complete their chemo to ring on their own D-Day.
And, since it is D-Day, I will have pictures to post later on. It just started so no pics, no video footage, nothing like that just yet. That will all come in a blog in a couple o’ days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed. Probably along with some more chat trolling conversations too. Oh man that’s so much fun. If you havent’ tried it, you really should. I must warn you though, stay away from the video chats…I saw more wangs in less than five minutes than I’ve seen my whole life. Ewww. (If you happen to be one of those dudes, You’re disgusting you Pedobear!!! I wish I had a little smiley face that was vomiting to put right after that, but you’ll just have to visualize it. gross. So NO vid chats ever again! Learned my lesson!)
Also, I wanna throw a THANK YOU!!! out to everyone who has donated to my Relay for Life team!!! Teamwise, we have raised a total of 1200 bucks!!! 1060 of that is mine personally!!! My team is in the top two for most money raised and we raised it all in less than a month where other teams had several. Boo Yeah!
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There is still time to donate, however, and you can do so through my Facebook page! I would be ecstatic if my team were the top money makers! All proceeds go to the American Cancer Society and help people like me be around to celebrate New Year’s, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Ramadan, Passover, beer day, (insert random day of the year here) again next year!
I mean, honestly..without those donations, I probably wouldn’t be here cracking you up right now. You would seriously be missing out.
Aighty, folks. I know this is a short one, but gotta save the rest for that next blog anyway. Besides that, I have this HUGE carrot raisin muffin from Mimi’s sitting right next to me and I think it has started dancing and singing..”eat me eat me” it melodizes to me. Actually, HUGE doesn’t quite describe it. I was worried it wouldn’t fit in the car.
Hugs and Sunny Surf,
Jessica and Gertrude
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P.S. Like that hoodie I’m wearing? It is by one of my favorite designers. I have a truly sweet story about that, but I’ll tell you about it another day. Until then, you can check out her stuff at Jessica Louise.com She deserves all your hugs, appreciation and money! I truly hope that one day I can show her the same generosity she showed me.
Until then, you can check out her stuff at 
