Do you have a bucket list?
I do..I’ve had it since I was 14 years old. I even remember where I was when I made it..I was sittin’ in the backseat of a car, leaving Kansas for the last time and moving to a new life in Arkansas. Since that day, my bucket list has been to a lot of places and been through everything with me. It went to boot camp, Korea, Jamaica, several weddings, a few funerals, Disneyland, Katrina relief, my tumor debulking surgeries, chemo therapy and even Relay for Life.
When I became sick, it became my mission to get as much checked off as possible. Some of the things on said list are a bit silly, as I made it when I was 14. But at this point, I think it’s fair to check some of those off. heh. Here are a few that I have marked off..
I’ve swam with Dolphins. It was well worth it
Went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art
Meet Mariah Carey
Hey..go big or go home, right?? haahah!! Don’t judge me…we all know you are secretly humming “Always Be My Baby” in your head riiiiiggghtt now..hehe
Toured Washington, D.C.
To include Arlington.
That. was. tough.
I’ve recently added a few things to the list. I do this every now and then. I like to think of it as my immortality magic. I mean, if I still have stuff to do on the list, then I can’t die. Good theory, huh.
Here’s a few things I added recently:
Surf in Australia
Skydiving (just to spite my horrid fear of heights)
Rocky Mountain Climbing
do 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu
(Okay okay..maybe I didn’t really add that last one, but it’s a fun thought. I did add see Tim McGraw in concert, though. )
So tell me..What are YOU passionate about?
Be passionate about SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Whether it is knitting, completing a silly list, or just your political opinion. If you’re not passionate about something, you’re just a wasted bag of flesh and water; a zombie. Unfortunately, I know a few of these. Good thing I’m well prepared for the zombie apocalypse…
Hugs and Sunny Surf,
Jessica & Gertrude
I’ve not had the motivation lately to update here, but this weekend was a bit bittersweet for me. This is a day that will live in infamy. One year ago today, I was placed on a ventilator and admitted to the ICU. I was lying in a bed, sedated and dying. People aren’t going to like reading that, but that’s how it was. Sometimes the truth just sucks and talking about it doesn’t always get you a seat at the cool kids’ table for lunch.
I’ve had people say I’m inconsiderate, I joke too much, I need medication, how can I take things so lightly, I need therapy, blah blah blah. I won’t apologize for anything that I have said, did or thought that pissed someone off. I’m done doing that. BUT I’ve also had people say I inspire them, that I give them hope, they admire my strength and they got out of bed because of how I coped. I’m not strong, I’m not prolific, I’m not amazing or anything else one could conjure up. I did what I had to do to survive, just like anyone else would. But for every dumb, lame statement I hear about my coping methods, I hear five amazing, smart and sassy ones. The latter make it all worth it. If one woman gets out of bed, puts on her make-up and marches into her chemo session because of my story, mission accomplished.
I’ve been through a lot of crap in my life. Two divorces, Katrina Relief, bootcamp, the death of friends and loved ones, and other things that I’m not going to get into on here. However, this past year has been THEE most difficult one of my life.
This past year, I was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer. I almost died a few times and all of my dreams were ripped out of my hands, to include the one of marrying the person I thought was meant just for me.
One of my friends asked on her facebook page if I would rather go back ten years or jump ahead five. Without a moment of thought, I stated go back ten. After all my little mind, body, heart and soul has had to deal with, I’d do it all over again. I am the woman I am today because of everything that happened; most of which happened this past year. I’ve learned to accept me the way I am. Although I struggle every so often with self image, (comon…what woman DOESN’T??) I am happy with the woman I’ve grown into. I know what I want from life now, and I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve. I’ve learned there are people in this world that love me just the way I am; sass, tattoos, morning breath and all. I’ve watched my closest friends grow into some of the strongest women I know. I mean, they not only juggled their family and careers, but stood by my side throughout the whole ordeal. Even if it was something as simple as bringing me a Sonic Coke while I was stuck at my final round of chemo, they were there to laugh and cry with me. I’ve watched my family struggle to laugh with me, even though I know they often just wanted to cry. (Although I have to admit, they often drive me crazy. BUT that doesn’t change the fact that I still love them all, no matter how pissed I may get at them. I’m sure they get mad at me, too. heh.)
So, while I may be struggling to buy new yarn for my next knitting project and can’t seem to get a leg up on a career move right now, I’d say I’m a pretty lucky girl to be surrounded by so many supportive and amazing people. It was the worst year of my life, but oddly enough, it was also the best year, too. It turned my whole world around…and I kinda like it.
Now if I could just get back out to California…everything would be perfect.
Hugs and sunny surf,
Jessica & Gertrude
Special thanks to:
First of all, Myself. Noone ever gives themselves credit for their accomplishments and I’m putting an end to that. I rock.
Dr. Kris Ghosh
Dr. Stephen Rosenfeld
Dr. Randall Hightower
the Tri-City nursing staff
Highlands Oncology Staff
Elvis (my puppymonster, not the King.)
Helen Olds
Kim Brannon
Ryann Thornton
Stephanie Reid
Lori Karis
Jen Rooney
Tyjanna Bourgeois
Troy Blakely
Jen Baker
my entire Paralegal class at USD
University of San Diego
Jessica Louise
Mike Chung
David Chen
Loc Nguyen
Diem Nguyen
Julia Nguyen
the Nguyen family
Ivan’s meat Market
Crystal Davis
Tina Newport Yeager
Kelly Erickson
Arinn Westendorf
MSG Scott Baranek
MAJ John Decker
Dianne Hupp
RJ Grijalva
Kirt Reynolds
Trik Photography
Jessica Miller (Dunk)
Frederic Leclercq (Love you Kromoze!!!)
Nhung Lien
Tri Huyhn (sorry dude! I can’t remember how to spell ur last name. But miss your face!)
Camille Berry and Mattie
My military family and fellow soldiers
Chendo
Glenn Sweet
SG community (and the members who were amazing and sent me good reads and blankets when I needed them the most
Anthony Bourdain (hey. No Reservations got me through many a chemo session)
Tom Cruise (hey…so did Risky Business and Cocktail, okay?? Cut a girl some slack here..)
Tony Maristela
Charles Park
Brian Pond and family
Tom Morris and family
A.J. Cates
Tianna Priest and family
Cody Renegar (especially for making me feel beautiful without hair and for creating the most Euro-trashtastic mohawk before buzzing my head!)
Adrian Salazar, my nuudleface BMFF (thats best male friend forever)
Rooster at Prick Tattoo in San Antonio
Eli Roth and Quentin Tarantino (my chemo sessions were long, peeps.)
My grandparents
Kendra Reynolds
Playstation
Apple
Hobby Lobby
Walmart
Best Buy
eBay
Amazon
Philosophy
iTunes
Netflix
all my favorite musicians and authors
Shyaporn Theerakulstit (God I hope that is spelled right..)
Jay Thornton
The Collective Bias family
Wordpress
Anthony Waits
Jerry Murry
The entire Warburton clan
Robert Baker
Rick Yeung
The Relay for Life family and everyone who has supported me with that
Bryce Warburton
and finally,
Mike Warburton and Vickie Warburton
Most importantly, all you amazing LWG readers!! this would be a wasted effort without y’all.
That’s a long long list, so if you don’t see your name, I’ve not forgotten you. There’s just been so many along the way that I can’t possibly name them all. I love you all so much!!! and Baby, you’ve come a long way.
Well my fellow canSer kickers, here we are at the start of a brand new year. So far, Twitter is still running but Facebook is the preferred social networking source, Justin Beiber is stealing the souls of 13 year old girls everywhere and Lady GaGa is planning her next wacked out wardrobe ensemble made completely of dried cat food. Yep, nothing has changed. To honor this irony of some sort of a “new beginning” mumbo jumbo that is about as real as Dolly Parton’s boobs, Imma tell you a few things I WON’T be doing this year. Maybe a few of my way rad readers might even join me. We can start a trend or two.
1. Making Stupid Resolutions for the New Year
Comon…what’s the point of “I’m going to eat better” or “I’m going to be more green??” We all know that those of you who actually made resolutions like that have already broken them. Helloooooo…that last glass of champy you had after midnight at your boss’ New Years party? That counts. It was in the new year. All those streamers and paper confetti tossed around and left to blow in the wind? That counts. It was also in the new year. So I’ll be saving the disappointment of utter failure and NOT making goals that I can’t keep. I am a firm supporter of that; make goals that are realistic and obtainable. Then, no one is disappointed and we all win.
2. Number Watching
That’s right. I said it. Number watching! That is my doctor’s job. I mean, what am I paying them for at this point? Imma eat whatever I want and do what I want. If there is a problem, the guy with the “M.D.” after his name will let me know. Number watching might also include rushing around to be places that other people are requiring of me. Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances, but for the most part, life will be on MY timeline these days and NOT the timeline of others.
What a bunch of bull honkey, people. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe the calendar simply starts over? You know, similar to how it does every single January? Juuuuuusssstttt sayin’…
4. Getting into extreme couponing and stockpiling for the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse in 2012
Have you seen these nutjobs? Sure, they get all those groceries for free, but good lord…how many sticks of deodorant does a man need? Aside from that, I’m pretty sure I’ve got better things to do with my time than hunt down free spaghetti noodles. I dunno…maybe I’ll regret that in 2012, when the end of the world happens and the stench of dead Zombies is so overpowering. Guess I’ll just have to hunt down an extreme couponer and try to buy some air freshener for two Coca-Colas, a pack of Ramen and a bag of Twizzlers.
5. Eating chocolate
Honestly…I swear…
6. Joining your best friend’s garage band
I believe this has been covered in a previous blog, but your best friend’s garage band only plays at your mom’s house because she makes the best Hot Pockets on the block. If it weren’t for those microwavable beef and cheese filled flaky goodness, that garage band wouldn’t exist. Why? Because they suck. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be a “garage” band, now would they…
7. Making lame comments on Twitter, Facebook, (social networking site name goes here) that make no sense.
I’m not talking about the ones such as ” I’m chillin at blahblahblah with DahDahDah” type of comments. I’m referring to those ones people post that are fairly cryptic and it starts a big game of “guess what I mean and who this is directed at.” No one likes that damn game anyways. It’s kinda like a game of Dodgeball. The only person having any fun is the person throwing the ball. Everyone else gets to go home with a belly ache.
8. Letting People walk all over me
Yeah, this is a bad habit of mine. I have THEE hardest time telling people I care about “No.” This often leads to me getting walked on and my heart often feels like it was taken for quite a ride. Not anymore. That girl is long gone, peeps.
9. Taking a dead end, pencil sharpening, paper stapling, lame ass job
Matter of fact, I would recommend that one to just about anyone who isn’t happy with how things are turning out in their life. I firmly believe that I have a right to work a job that I love and am passionate about and so does every other human being. I’ll be pursuing those passions now. No more mail room sorting for me. (that’s generic for “crappy job.”)
10. Falling out of remission
I like to think I have complete control over this and guess what? It ain’t gonna happen. Not as long as I’ve got somethin’ to say about it.
and now…
10 Things I WILL be doing
1. Breaking some of those “resolutions” above, because, well…We AAAALLLLL know I’m fully prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse that will occur in 2012…
2. Playing less videogames
Buuuuuuuttt…since I’m NOT number watching, I refer to number one on this second list.
3. Using my sword
That started out as just another inside joke between an old friend and I, but maybe there’s a bit more to it. I tend to use my pen; probably too much. Time to start standing up for myself and my goals.
4. Eating meat
Yep. I’m a meat eater. Far from being a hipster. Go eat the dead carcass of an animal, you hippie. Just make sure it is organic and free -range..
5. Thanking aiport Security guards
I want them to know how lovely the frisking felt.
6. Doing less laundry
Hmm…I’ll just call that extreme couponer guy and inquire about expanding my uses for deodorant.
7. Call/Text people in the same room as me
Admit it. It is quite a riot to watch everyone else in the room wonder who you are both talking to. Then, once the other people realize you’ve not included them in your “secret” conversation, they think you’re talking about them. Yes, I speak from experience. I can’t make this stuff up, people.
8. Writing more often
I’ve really neglected my little private corner of the interwebs due to the holiday season and extreme traveling, but those days are behind me. I’ve got a rather large list of ideas and aim to keep this a happy, canSer-free laugh joint. Word.
9. Marking things off my bucket list
I had one years before there was a movie about it. I made it when I was 14 and it stays safely tucked away in my wallet. It has been through high school graduation, Boot camp, Hurricane Katrina AND Rita, several weddings and drunken pub crawls, a few trips to various foreign countries and even my tumor debulking surgery. It takes up valuable wallet space because I never know when I may have the opportunity to check something off it. Always having it with me prevents a lost opportunity. I even add to it every once in a while. Yep..I found the REAL way to be immortal. Heh.
10. Doing what makes ME happy
Why SHOULDN’T I do what makes ME happy? I’ve done so much to keep everyone else happy. Well guess what? Now it is MY turn! (and I think you should do the same.) I don’t mean be selfish, but if I wanna decorate cupcakes all weekend, knit ugly green and yellow doggie sweaters or eat cookies in bed, Imma do it. Is it really hurting anything?
So, here’s my challenge to my readers. Be selfish every so often. Do something for you just because you deserve it.
I believe in Wild Angels. Do you?? Here’s Martina’s actual video..just because I think it’s pretty rad so you should too. Without those guardian angels, I wouldn’t be telling you about the awesomeness I just experienced recently and we all know that ONLY wild angels would be assigned the hefty task of dealing with this girl. heh.
So most of y’all probably know that I just went on a big road trip to a few cities. My better judgment tells me that I should give it to ya in the order it all occurred which would mean starting with Washington, D.C. but my ability to empathize and place myself in another’s shoes tells me that I should start with what I would really want to hear about…NEW YORK CITY! And, I just bought a box of happy but promised myself not to use said happy until I get a blog update out. So let’s get this goin’ because I’ve got secret missions to do. That’s all I can tell you. I’ve probably already said too much..
Charles and I got to The Big Apple around nine p.m. on a Wednesday evening. The air was chilly yet carried a warmth. The skyline was lit up in all it’s bedazzled glory.
That feeling in your chest right now? That excited, breathlessness…that’s exactly what I had. Upon seeing the city lights, I felt my throat tighten up but managed to control the water works. The first evening was spent catching up with old friends and viewing the city skyline from Tia’s terrace. Fortunately, I do not have a view like this; I would never leave my house. Or maybe, that would develop into an addiction for me…constantly leaving, not returning calls and exploring a city that I’m fairly sure has never been fully explored by but one single individual person. I’m pretty sure it would take several years to see absolutely everything there is to see in NYC.
We rose early the next day to get a terrific start and attempt to beat the city at the sleep game. Breakfast was coffee and doughnuts from a Japanese bakery in Bryant Park. If one wishes to attend a doughnut shop that has no cops in it, go to the Japanese-type ones. haha!
Next stop, Rockefeller Plaza.
I knew this was meant to be as I turned around and saw God hovering above the doors rockin out with his Samurai swords…
We spent most of the morning walking around the NBC Experience store where Charles rocked it out by getting me a Central Perk t-shirt. For those of you naysayers, Central Perk is the fictional coffeeshop that the crew of “Friends” hung out at all the time. Anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE me some Friends. I even have the complete boxed set, people.
Since I’ve several hundred photos from this trip and sooooo much to tell, this will all come as a sort of…mini-series. Yeah. That’s what Imma call it..a mini-series. It will be my “Makin you bitterly Jealous” mini-series.
So, what do I have in store for y’all then? Weeeeeeehhheeeheeeheeeellllll…
Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) Random acts of silliness and laughter, Natural History Museum, (got gumgum?) Cute boys, Sightseeing cruise, my inherent search for a pretty scarf to wrap my cold head in, breakfast at Tiffany’s, (okay okay..maybe that was just in my imagination..) and sooo much more. So, over the next week or so, I solemnly do swear to love and cherish my readers, to faithfully devote attention to my blog, in sickness and in health, till trip end do we part..
Hugs and sunny surf,
Jessica & Gertrude
P.S.
If you look carefully, I’m pretty sure there’s a reflection of a wild angel in that Alexander McQueen store window…heehee
You met me tonight at the Northwest Arkansas Airport and I gave you my card; which is how you probably found this blog. I don’t normally do much politicking here, as it is not generally meant for those sorts of purposes. BUT To be honest, I’m totally excited that you are reading it! It briefly tells my story as a 28 year old woman who had a staring contest with canSer and didn’t blink. (Not even a half-blink!) I’m not brave, I’m not prolific, I’m not a miracle and I’m not inspiring. I’m human and as a human, I have a will to survive. I just let that will to survive drive me.
Anywhoo, I’m writing this in hopes that you DO read my blog, as I know you are a busy man. (I interned with Mr. Darrell Issa..seriously..I don’t know how y’all do it! I’d lose my mind!) Also, I won’t nag you after this little brief politicking on my personal corner of the internet. However, dealing with a nasty dis-ease has really opened my eyes on just how whacked healthcare has become. I was denied Medi-Cal, my insurance pays pretty much whatever they decide they want to pay and at only 28 years old, I have over $400,000 dollars in medical debt. I won’t go on about this, as you probably already know what I could possibly say about it. I’m currently on Disability and it isn’t even enough to pay rent. I truly hope that the voted in powers that be can get this corrected.
In any event, I hope you enjoy my blog and spread the word. I found it pretty rad that someone with the status you have would even take the time out of your day to tell me that you will keep me in your prayers. People don’t realize how important something as small as a prayer thought, a blanket or a soda from a favorite fast food restaurant actually is to someone with canSer. Especially considering you know nothing about me, to include how I vote. I’m just a girl who drives around in her beat up Honda, singing off tune country music at stop lights, who lives in a guest bedroom at her grandmother’s house. I spend my days writing funny nothings about my life for others to feel better about theirs and if I’m not doing that, I’m playing some sort of shooting game on Playstation and reminiscing about my days as a soldier. (and boy do I miss those days! I never thought I would actually say this, but damn I miss being a soldier.) I’m just lucky I’ve learned to do things with a smile on my face because now I know just how much worse off it could actually be. Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help out a fellow Conservative (besides a vote.)
Lately a lot of things have been getting to me. Normally, I try to not do that because, well, I just don’t have the patience for it. So, since everyone needs a good gripe session at times, here’s what’s been twisting my bra strap lately.
Wal-Mart’s “Rollbacks”
(Be sure to look REEEEALLLLY close at that one…those wonderful mathematical geniuses…) So I know you are probably thinking something like this: ”But Jess, why on earth would you not like even lower prices?”
Well, hypothetical person that is speaking to me via my personal corner of the interwebz…those “rollbacks” aren’t REALLY good buys. If one should actually pay attention to the prices in Wal-Mart, one would notice that when WM rolls back one item, they MARK UP another to make up for the cost difference. For example, my lil’ Elvis-shaped friend loves his Little Cesar’s for breakfast everyday. This particular wet dog food on “rollback” was a mere 58 cents! Then, a few weeks ago I returned to get more and found Pedigree to be on “rollback” and guess what brand was now 72 cents–Little Cesar’s. I hardly find that sort of stunt to be a true discount. (and yes, Elvis still gets his Little Cesar’s because that’s what he likes. I don’t eat food I don’t like so why would I make my dog?)
Spiders
I hate these things so much that I’m not even putting a picture of one here nor is the paragraph going to be any longer than this one sentence.
Clowns
Sure that little girl is all smiles at the moment but that is because it tickles when clowns try to suck your soul out through your nose. Just wait until she turns around and realizes what just happened!
And check out this clown!!
Now that is scary!
(okay okay. Normally I try to keep politics out of my blog and to be quite honest, I used to really like this guy..until his brain fell out of his ear. I’m pretty sure it is floating around in the Potomac river somewhere and some little kid is now using it for fish bait.)
Heights
My guy seems to think he is going to make me do this at the San Diego fair next year. Good luck with that because last time I checked, people can’t even make me eat stuff I don’t want to; let alone jump off a perfectly good platform with an overgrown, mutant rubber band tied to my ankles. Remember those paddles we all had as kids that had the bouncy ball attached to it with a piece of elastic? Yea, I’m not one of those.
Your Friend’s band
If they didn’t suck, they wouldn’t be playing in your best friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s garage, now would they?
Girls who wear Uggs in July with their shorts/mini skirt
So it is 100 degrees outside and girls wear boots that were meant to be worn in Alaska during January. It looks ridiculous with shorts. Besides that, Uggs are UGLY! I cannot figure out what the appeal is and yes, I have tried them on just to see if it had something to do with how they fit. Crocks easily fall into this same category.
So there you have it for now. These things just bug me. Something tells me that one or two of them bug pretty much everyone else, too. However, since I’m not a fan of complaining without some sort of solution, here are a few things making me pretty happy right now.
First off, Borderlands and a subscription to GameInformer
My little bro and I can’t stop wasting time on this! And what gamer DOESN’T want a subscription to GameInformer?? It’s my crack, people; especially since I just got a new PS3! (don’t hate. The boyfriend bought it for me. hehe)
End of Summer clearance sales
Seriously. I hit up Belks department store today with my gramma and scored some sandals that were 89 bucks at the beginning of the season. Guess how much I paid for them? Just guess! You’ll never guess. 15 Bucks! I would say patience is a virtue, but the only reason I didn’t buy them when I first saw them was because I didn’t have the money. Dear Kharma, I love your face. I LOVE these sandals! Don’t you?
My Barnes & Noble and Borders membership cards
These cards give me sweet discounts and since I’ve not had much to do, I’ve done a lot of reading.
Gladiolus and Magnolias
They’re just so pretty. I want a Magnolia tree in my backyard…/looks at boyfriend with puppy eyes
Funny Yoga positions
Eagle Pose
But I think “Pink Flamingo Pose” is much more appropriate
Happy Baby Pose
I like it’s alternate name of “Dead Bug Pose” much better, but tomato tomahto.
I’m not really sure what this one is called, but I would like to recommend “Flying Eagle Pose.” I’m also pretty sure that the BF will be excited that I can do this pose.
If someone asked me what the theme song to my life would be, it would HAVE to be this song. (I take back anything I may have said previoulsy about a “my life theme.” It would be this at the beginning and then “Trouble” by Pink at the end. heh.
Very fitting, huh.
Aside from that, this blog needed a song with some awesomeness-shape to it. Something that just screams “grab your life and LIVE that shizzle!! ” Why? Because it is D-Day peeps! MuthaTruken D-Day!!! I’m comin to you LIVE from the chemo room! heheheeeeee
I honestly thought about putting a large hammer in my purse to bash that bell in with, but decided I should just gently dent it..That way there is a bell left for other people who complete their chemo to ring on their own D-Day.
And, since it is D-Day, I will have pictures to post later on. It just started so no pics, no video footage, nothing like that just yet. That will all come in a blog in a couple o’ days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed. Probably along with some more chat trolling conversations too. Oh man that’s so much fun. If you havent’ tried it, you really should. I must warn you though, stay away from the video chats…I saw more wangs in less than five minutes than I’ve seen my whole life. Ewww. (If you happen to be one of those dudes, You’re disgusting you Pedobear!!! I wish I had a little smiley face that was vomiting to put right after that, but you’ll just have to visualize it. gross. So NO vid chats ever again! Learned my lesson!)
Also, I wanna throw a THANK YOU!!! out to everyone who has donated to my Relay for Life team!!! Teamwise, we have raised a total of 1200 bucks!!! 1060 of that is mine personally!!! My team is in the top two for most money raised and we raised it all in less than a month where other teams had several. Boo Yeah!
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There is still time to donate, however, and you can do so through my Facebook page! I would be ecstatic if my team were the top money makers! All proceeds go to the American Cancer Society and help people like me be around to celebrate New Year’s, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Ramadan, Passover, beer day, (insert random day of the year here) again next year!
I mean, honestly..without those donations, I probably wouldn’t be here cracking you up right now. You would seriously be missing out.
Aighty, folks. I know this is a short one, but gotta save the rest for that next blog anyway. Besides that, I have this HUGE carrot raisin muffin from Mimi’s sitting right next to me and I think it has started dancing and singing..”eat me eat me” it melodizes to me. Actually, HUGE doesn’t quite describe it. I was worried it wouldn’t fit in the car.
Hugs and Sunny Surf,
Jessica and Gertrude
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P.S. Like that hoodie I’m wearing? It is by one of my favorite designers. I have a truly sweet story about that, but I’ll tell you about it another day. Until then, you can check out her stuff at Jessica Louise.com She deserves all your hugs, appreciation and money! I truly hope that one day I can show her the same generosity she showed me.
Until then, you can check out her stuff at 
